Misfits

Picture this: I bald women walking her overweight, arthritically stiff dog. Walking beside a women who is in a brace from her wrist up to her shoulder. That was us last night going for our little walks. I am sure we looked like misfits!

My wonderful sister in law took care of Jaxon all day yesterday and still has him today. It has been such a big help and we are so grateful for her assistance.

It has been interesting switching roles with Jen for awhile. She has been taking care of me for 6 months and then last year with my hysterectomy. It has been amusing and also a learning experience.

On the non constructive side of things I have thoroughly enjoyed every minute that I have been able to say "see, I told you so, know you know what I mean about........." Luckily Jen is on drugs so she has mostly found this amusing.

On the constructive side of things I have been enlightened on the role of caregiver and hopefully I will be a better patient, especially when I have my mastectomy.

Jen is doing overall good. She is in pain but she is being a trooper. I am very impressed with her. She has already done her exercises today and we have taken a few short walks since we have been home.

I am doing overall good. I feel good but have mouth sores in my mouth and all over my lips. I am using my medicine but they aren't going away. I feel like my lips have been "Botoxed" I am actually resting more taking care of Jen than I usually do when I have chemo. I feel good enough to get chores and projects done, take care of Jen in between and then I am even finding some "me" time. The moral of the story: In order to take care of myself, I must first find someone else to take care of!?!?!?!

Plastic Surgeon Visit

Although I have been looking forward to getting information, I have been dreading this appointment. I am not sure why. Maybe the stereotypes in my head about seeing a plastic surgeon and vanity. Maybe the fact that it was the last Dr I am seeing before I have to make the decision about my surgery.

I must set the stage for this appt. so that everything to follow makes since. On Wed. mornings on the way to work, I often stop by the gym and let Jaxon visit with my friend Melissa while she is teaching a fitness class. Well, little did I know that both the Dr. and the nurse I saw today are in that class.

The first thing that they both say to me when they walk in the room is in regards to Jaxon and the morning workouts. The first thing that goes through my mind on both occasions has a little to do with overexposure of my body parts to these women and the chance that I will be seeing them both in the morning! Luckily, before I run out of the room I am able to reassure myself that we are all healthcare professionals and it is not really that big of a deal.

The appointment went great. Both the nurse and Dr. were compassionate, respectful and knowledgeable. I was able to get all the information I was hoping for.

All along I have not been for the option of using my own tissue and muscle for reconstruction. The Dr. gave me 3 good reasons why she felt that this might not be the best option for me. It exactly lined up with my thoughts.

We discussed the option of implants and also the option of mastectomy without any reconstruction with the option of implants in the future if I decided that I did not like that decision. There is also another procedure that they are doing at Wash U that I might decide to at least look into further. I need to try to get some more information regarding our health insurance (it will be changing next year) and cost but I feel like I have a lot more information to help me make my decision.

No decision yet, but a little calm as came over me and I feel confident that I will be able to make the best decision and that is something I have not felt since I found out I was going to have to have a mastectomy.

I am going to try and step away from cancer for a week and focus on Jen and her surgery. Just a small hiatus but I think the half way mark is a good time for a "break"! I just hope my body, health and side effects all cooperate with me.

1/2 way point!

6 down and 6 to go! I really can't believe I have had 6 rounds of this medicine already. It seems to be going by so fast. The side effects linger but all just annoying, not devastating. The new thing is that the skin on my heals is cracking. One crack is rather deep and hurts a little. I have decided to really try and take them up on their recommendation to not go around barefoot. I love to go barefoot, this is a challenge for me. What am I saying, anything that someone tells me I should do that I don't want to do is a challenge for me.

I see the plastic surgeon tomorrow. I have a list of questions and I hope to get a lot of information to help me make my surgery decisions.

I had a dance party with Jaxon tonight. He is quite the dancer : ) He was Will I Am and I was Fergie (Black Eyed Peas). Luckily Jen cut me out of all the video clips she took. Lucky for you and me!

I will try to post about the plastic surgeon appt. soon.

RIse and Shine

Good early morning! It is the morning after chemo and I have essentially been up since 2 a.m. Between my mind and body not wanting to be still and shut off during the night on the Fri. and Sat. after chemo, I don't seem to get much sleep. Hopefully I can get a little nap in today and tomorrow. Yes I said nap!

5 chemo treatments down and 7 to go! Almost 1/2 way done. This should make me excited but all I can really think about are the surgeries ahead of me. I have come to terms with getting the double mastectomy and oophrectomy (?) but I cannot make up my mind about what do to after that.

As I have stated before the side affects are mild with this chemo, relatively easy to manage. I took Claritan for 2 days after chemo last week and my acne face rash didn't get as bad. I also have saline mist for my nose which helped with the bloody crusty nose.

I wanted to take a moment to list all of my side effects. Hopefully not to bore you, but this is also sort of my dairy and I just wanted to have it listed out so I could remember.

Side effects:

Acne face and chest rash

Nose irritation with some bleeding

Mild nausea

Bad taste in throat (Day 2-4 after chemo)

Mouth raw (Day 3-5 after chemo)

Mouth sores (Did occur at week 4)

Striped nail beds

Neuropathy of hands (Day 4-6 after chemo, did not occur after treatment #4)

Dry and cracking finger tips

Dry and cracking lips

Difficulty sleeping (Day 1-3 after chemo, probably from steroid)

Muscle fatigue with activity (mostly occurs with strength type activities)

Tender to touch on back of neck and shoulders (Day 2 after chemo)

Intermittent pain in thighs, hips, shoulders and back (Usually more towards Day 5-6 after chemo)

Hair stopped growing again (Shaved it off again)

I did have a rash all over my body for about a week but I think it was a reaction to the sun

I wanted to thank Nancy (Jen's mom) for taking me to chemo last week. I was I little worried about taking Nancy with me. She does not sit still very well and there is a lot of sitting at chemo. She did great, only had to get up and take a walk once. I have to say it was really nice having her with me. She bragged on me like one only wishes their mother would brag. She really made me feel good about myself that day and a daughter needs that on occasion.

Jen has scheduled to have shoulder surgery on July 30th. That should be my off week from chemotherapy. She has a partially, but significantly torn rotator cuff (supraspinatus muscle). Please wish us luck as we tackle this in our already crazy life. I just hope we can keep some since of normalcy for our little guy. I often wonder how all this will effect him. He has been through a lot in his short 3 1/2 years of life.

Great weekend off ?!?!?!

I have made it through 1 cycle of chemo, only 3 more cycles 3 rounds to go (that is 9 left). Having it 3 weeks in a row really made it go by fast and I was so happy my WBC counts stayed up.

I was so looking forward to last weekend, chemo free and a four day holiday weekend. It started off great. Friday was the first "me and you" day that Jaxon and I had had in a while. We went to Chuck E. Cheese, had lunch together, went to the pet store then adopted a puppy from the no kill shelter (not sure how that happened). Friday night we had a get together with the Guat boys which got a little crazy and ended with a bunch of boys skinny dipping!

Saturday we headed to the lake and had a great day. Jaxon hung out with his lake buddies, mostly a bunch of 9-13 year old girls. He will appreciate this attention a lot more in a few short years. Although I must say as they all hugged him Sat. night he seemed to have them wrapped around his finger! My only issue was a few mouth sores.

Sunday I woke up a little congested and a lot sore. This progressively worsened as the day went on, until I started to run a very low grade fever. I also started to break out in a rash. We had plans to shoot off fireworks so I took a Tylenol and pretended I wasn't sick the rest of the night.

Unfortunately this all caught up with me on Monday. I woke up congested, sore, sick at my stomach and with a rash over most of my body. I spent most of the day on the couch recuperating.

Not the ending to the weekend I had hoped for but I think I am feeling better today. I think the rash is a reaction to the sun, and the other is probably a virus, probably picked up at Chuck E. Cheese. Really I don't know how I got sick, but Jen (The Germ Police) was not really happy about me going to Chuck E Cheese.

I am hoping for a good start to my next cycle of chemo which should start this Friday. We are picking up my niece and nephew on Thurs. and I really won't have time to be sick. Wish me luck.

Oh and a little shout out to my friend Cathy who took me to my last chemo treatment. Not only did I appreciate her driving me around but a had a great day out with one of my best friends.