Enough is enough

As much as I had quickly became addicted to my nightly shower ritual of seeing how much hair I could rub off my head. (It was a fun way to pass to time but dang I have a lot of hair, even if it is now only 1/4 of a inch long.) Saturday morning I handed Jen the clippers and said shave it off! So I am now bald, besides the stubble that has yet to fall out.

MY BALD OBSERVATIONS:

1. My head is cold.

2. I can feel the wind on my head as I walk.

3. Little kids really notice when a girl doesn't have hair, even if she has a hat on.

4. It is easier for the wind to blow off your hat (very windy this weekend).

5. I have a mystery scar on the back of my head.

6. People like to smile at you with that "oh you poor thing" smile.

7. Hats make my head sweaty, even though it is still cold.

8. Hot Topic has very cool bandanas.

9. I must learn how to scratch my head gentler.

10. Jaxon and Jen love me no matter what.

Slapped once again!

One must agree that I have had a few slaps in the face over the last few months! Many blessings, lots of good news, but a few bumps along the way. I have dealt and moved on through all of these and I know that I will move past this one. However, today when I got the results of my blood work and saw that my counts were too low, I nearly lost it! Not to mention that this was at 9am, I put a call immediately into my Dr. to find out for sure what the counts meant, and they didn't call be back until 2pm. That was 5 hours of thinking I probably wouldn't have chemo, hoping that I was somehow wrong, WAITING, and just not knowing what my plan for Friday was going to be. If you do not know me very well, you might not know that I LOVE plans and LIVE for plans, not having a plan, having an unexpected change in my plan this DRIVES ME CRAZY! Needless to say, I was a little bit crazy today and A LOT SAD. So no chemo tomorrow, I will get my blood checked next Thurs., if my counts are back up then I can get chemo next Fri. Oh, and don't think I didn't have a calendar in which I had already written down the dates of every chemo appt. I was going to have through Sept.........these dates are now shot to hell! Side note - I did write them down in pencil......just in case!

Quick update and shout out!

So much for the buzz cut. My hair is officially falling out. Now since Friday I have been able to pull at it and it would come out, but now I can basically just touch it and it is falling out. Kind of weird. You can easily see my scalp and I have a few little bald spots.

I get my blood work done tomorrow. My white blood cells have to be at a certain level for me to be able to get chemo on Friday. I am not sure how I will process it, if my count hasn't went back up, that will throw my whole schedule off. Yes, I know I shouldn't have the whole next 7 months scheduled out....but i do!!

I super big shout out to my awesome co-workers who all wore hats yesterday! It was my first day to wear a hat to work. What amazing people and what great support they continue to provide.

New New Haircut!!!!

Weekend in Poplar Bluff

We took a quick weekend trip to Poplar Bluff to visit family. Thought it would be a good idea to visit family while I was feeling so good. Well we had a good visit, but my "feeling good" took a turn for the worst. My 3 small mouth sores turned into 5 rather large sores and a swollen right cheek. My lymph nodes under my jaw become swollen and sore. Probably totally unrelated I had a horribly stiff neck most of the weekend with significant pain. Oh ya, my hair started falling out. So much for feeling good. At least we had a good weather on Saturday, unlike the weather in Springfield.

I made a quick trip to the Dr. today, since my mouth sores seemed out of control. Guess what, I received more medicine! I am actually happy about this medicine. Something to numb my mouth so that I can eat and another that will hopefully heal my mouth sores. The bad news is that this is probably a side affect of chemo which will likely continue over the next few months.

Since my hair had started to fall out I went all out this afternoon and got my hair buzzed off! If I can get my computer to cooperate I will put up a picture.

I DON'T LIKE MEDICINE!!!

I had a Drs. appt. yesterday. My white blood cell count was indeed low - 1.6 (Normal 4 - 11), as was my platelets. Actually most things were low but those seemed to be the lowest. They said that is what was to be expected on day 10 after chemo. They are going to get me another anti-nausea medicine to take the next time I have a chemo treatment. They MADE me start taking a anti-viral because I had a mouth sore (today I have 3). They MADE me start taking a antibiotic just as a precaution since my counts were so low. The antibiotic could make my Achilles tendon tear. Well that is more likely if I was over 60, but really a medicine that can make your "muscles break". That doesn't sound good to me. But I am being a good patient and taking my medicines....cussing and screaming all the way!!!! I have a rash all over my neck, chest and back, they didn't know why, it seems to be a mystery. Still have hair, well what is left of it after the BIG haircut. I little fatigued but besides that I am feeling good. My next chemotherapy session is scheduled for March 26th 10am. I will get my blood checked the day before and if my counts have went back up then we are good to go. I will also see the Dr. on the 26th. I have went ahead and scheduled an appt. in April to see an OB GYN to discuss having my ovaries removed. I have also went ahead and scheduled a follow up with my surgeon in May to discuss the double mastectomy further (he will then refer me to a plastic surgeon to discuss reconstruction options).

SHOUT OUT!!!!

I wanted to give a shout out to the St. Agnes 5th class and especially Klaire. What a super sweet girl you are Klaire for telling your class about me. I thank you so much for the cards and prayers.