Where to start....

I last posted pictures of my drains. At that time I was feeling great, well as good as could be expected following a major surgery. The next week I started going back to the gym, doing some minor chores around the house, and even got one of my drains out. I decided that since my dad is ill I should take the opportunity of some downtime and go visit him in Poplar Bluff.

Jaxon and I loaded up on Thursday Nov. 11th and headed to Poplar Bluff. The next day I woke up not feeling very good. I tried to push through the day but just seemed to be getting worse. I finally took my temp. around 5 p.m. and found I was running a 101 temp. Not good when you have just had surgery and have a tube hanging out of your body.

I ended up in Urgent Care with chills, nausea, fever and severe pain along my left side. The Dr. felt I needed to be admitted to the hospital but thought I was safe to get back to Springfield. By that time I couldn't stand up without having ringing in my ears and feeling faint. My friend Lisa saved to day and drove me back to Springfield. I stayed the night at my house but Saturday was not feeling any better so I headed to the Emergency Room.

I was finally seen by the surgeon on call who confirmed that I had an infection but did not feel I had an infection in my wound!?!?!?!?! He did feel that I needed to start IV antibiotics and admitted me into the hospital. After only 2 rounds of IV antibiotics the pain in my side finally started to decrease. My fever broke on Sunday and things began to slowly get better. My physician finally saw me on Monday morning and took a sample from my drain tube to test for infection (GO FIGURE!!). It came back on Tuesday as a staph infection. Yes that is correct, staph infection in the area of my wound. Fortunately by then I was feeling much better and was ready to go home. I was released with a heavy dose of oral antibiotics that I was to take for 10 days.

When I got home (Tues 16th) I realized I didn't feel as good as I thought. I still had some soreness, my arm movement had regressed secondary to not using it for 4 days and I was scared to death that some germ was going to invade my drain tube again.

No rest for the weary, I was at the hospital on Friday Nov 19th starting my first round of Herceptin. As mentioned before, this is an infused medicine but without the common side effects associated with chemotherapy. I did have the chills that night and was tired the next day but I am not sure if this was associated with the treatment or not. Will have to wait and see what happens the next time around (Dec. 10th).

The next week flew by with the Thanksgiving holiday. I did get my other drain out on Nov. 22nd. Today I returned to work. I had computer training all day which I think was a nice transition back to work. Tomorrow will be my first day to see patients.

I have had a really hard time with the thought of going back to work this week. I did not feel ready, it did not seem that I really had enough time off. This was supposed to be my time to heal from all the !@#$ I have been through all year. Some much deserved ME time. It just didn't seem possible that it was already time to go back to work. This morning I started reviewing the last month that I have had off and realized that in the last 27 days, I only spent 6 of them truly by myself. The light bulb went off, no wonder I felt like I had no ME time...... I really didn't. So I guess ME time wasn't meant to be and I have resolved it is time to get back to "normal"........Well I am not sure things will ever be normal but I will continue to move forward. Is there really any other choice!?!?!!

Drain tubes!!!

The first picture is the drain coming out of my side. It is held in at the skin with a stitch. The other 2 pictures is were the tubes drain into. One for each side. Have to drain 2-3 times a day and record the amount of drainage.

Pathology report confirmed

Saw the Dr. this morning. He confirmed the good news of the pathology report. 12 cancer free lymph nodes, no cancer in the right breast or the ovaries and clean margins around the tumor that was left in the left breast. All very good news.

He seemed satisfied with the way everything looked. I go back to see him on Monday. He wants to get the drains out as soon as possible but I have to get down to draining about 30 cc (on each side) before he will take out the drains. Yesterday I drained 275 cc on the left and 75 cc on the right. He is hoping to get the one out on the left by Monday.

I have an appointment to see P.T. next Tuesday. I am going to learn some techniques to decrease my risk of getting lymphadema. I will also get a sleeve as a preventative measure to be used when traveling.

Post surgery

Well it is finally over, the dreaded surgeries are finally behind us. I went in Tues. morning for my surgeries and all went well. I had several visitors when I got to my room. Thanks for the visits, kind words and gifts. Sorry if I said anything weird or strange, I may have been a little drugged at the time. The overnight stay wasn't too bad. The pain was tolerable and I was able to go back to sleep after each time the nursing staff came in to check on me. They took out my catheter, IV and even gave me a bit of a sponge bath all in the middle of the night. Kind of odd but very glad to get rid of the catheter and IV. We left the hospital yesterday around 3pm. Last night I slept in a recliner and I slept pretty good. I was able to take the bandages off and get in the shower today. It was nice to take a shower, although I did get light headed and my ears started ringing. Cut my shower short but I didn't pass out. Jen let me get out of the house for a few hours today. It was nice but it did wear me out. Overall my pain isn't too bad but today I have had these sharp pains in the area of my chest. I got a copy of my pathology report today. I think everything is good, but I want to discuss it with the Dr. first before I start celebrating too much. I do see the Dr. tomorrow at 8:45. Like I said looking forward to him going over the pathology report with me to make sure I understood everything that I read. I am going to relax for a bit and then probably settle down to go to sleep. Thanks to all and to all a good night!!!!

Catching up!

I can't believe it has been almost a month since my last post. Sorry! The first few weeks I was just living a "non" treatment life and the last few weeks have been busy getting ready for Jaxon's Birthday. I will try to catch up on this month

Pink in your think:

The above is a line from a Disney Pixar Short. It has played over and over in my head this month. Pink is everywhere! Since it is Breast Cancer Awareness month, it is hard to run away from it...at the store, on TV, Runs/Walks, campaigns, I even saw pink bubble wrap yesterday?!?!?! This has mostly been positive for me, it is like everyone is out there supporting me (yes, once again my narcissism shows). But there is something therapeutic or "safe" knowing that for at least this month everyone has a heightened awareness of "the boobs"

Echo cardiogram

I had this test on Oct. 8th. It was essentially the same as when they did my baseline test before I started chemotherapy. That is good, no heart damage from the meds yet. The herceptin's (I start this in Nov) biggest side effect is heart damage.

Mammogram

I had this test also on Oct. 8th. The area where my cancer was first seen on the mammogram was still present. Doesn't mean the cancer is still there, could just be "scar tissue". We won't really know about any remaining cancer until we get the pathology report after my surgeries. No new areas were found in either breast.

Oncology appointment

I had this appt. on Oct 15th. The Dr. reviewed the above tests with me, told me my blood work was good, and basically gave me the thumbs up to proceed with surgery. We set the date when I would start infusion therapy again, November 12th or 19th (I can't quite remember). This will be the herceptin, it is kind of like chemotherapy but is supposed to much better tolerated. It is called target therapy and will target a certain "part" of my cancer. I will continue this every 3 weeks until June 2011.

Cancer walk

Oct. 16th - I think I heard that there was over 4000 people that showed for the walk. It was quite amazing and a great day to be outside walking with friends and family. Although we weren't able to stay together as a group, I so much appreciate all those folks who walked to support me! All 4,000 of them : ) Oops there was my narcissism again!

Surgery appointment

I was lead to believe that going to schedule my surgery would be a piece of cake! WRONG! I have been counting down the days until this appointment, ready to finally get the date so I could move forward with all the planning and details. I left with Nothing and did not find out the date of my surgery until Thurs. Needless to say it has been a bit of a sad, angry and stressful week for me.

Surgery

My surgeries are scheduled for November 2nd. I will be have my ovaries removed, double mastectomy, and an axillary dissection of my lymph nodes on the left side. The plans are for an overnight stay and I am planning on taking off work through Nov. 26th.

I can't really begin to process all of this surgery business. Today was Jaxon's birthday and tomorrow his party. I will focus on him this weekend and begin to prepare myself mentally, emotionally and physically next week.

Rash

I have broken out in a rash all over my body. I have had this rash two other times over the last 2 years. Yes Dr. Kukal, I suspect it might be stress related!

I will try to do better with my postings. Good evening all and thanks for the continued support

Side effects?!?!

Was I talking fondly of side effects in my last post? Well today I am cussing them. Friday afternoon after I thought I was in the clear, the evil mouth sores took up residents in my mouth once again. The dreaded, blasted evil mouth sores..... I will definitely not miss them!

I really wanted to post some pics that were taken on the last day of my chemotherapy, however, as usual my computer appears to be out witting me. Were is Shane when I need him!

This Friday was a great day and it was nice to know that it just wasn't an off week and somehow it did feel different. Jaxon had his BIG trike a thon at school and we went to a high school football game.

I ran into a friend over the weekend whose battle with cancer is much more of a struggle than mine and my dad's cancer continues to spread. Although I appreciate all the continued prayers and good MoJo, I know these folks need the prayers much more than I do.

Moving forward!

As I am making it through these side effects for the last time I try to reflect on the journey. The side effects will soon be gone and then I will have something else to focus on or even worse, nothing to focus on. I am so ready to get this horrible taste out of my mouth and yet I know in a very short time I won't even remember it. I will be glad but there is something about remembering that is important to the process. There is something about getting treatment and moving forward that is healing and hopeful. I know that I am on a much needed and deserved break. I know my body needs to recover and prepare for surgery. The majority of my body and mind is so excited about the next month, looking forward to doing things and not worrying how I am going to feel. But there is a very small part of me that feels a little stranded, a little lost. The part that needs a plan, needs something to check off the calendar, maybe the part that needs to feel the side effects to be re assured that we are moving forward.

Ok, that was deep enough! How about a shout out to my friends, family and even strangers who helped to celebrate my last day of chemo! I was greeted as I got up wobbling from the chemo chair by a mob of smiles. Nancy had lead this awesome group of people to what really is a quiet, no kids allowed area. That of course did not detour Nancy and I love her for it! The hugs, the smiles, the kind words, and the gifts were so much appreciated. I felt so looped up, I hope I didn't do anything to silly.