Checking in

It seems that right after my chemo, the time when everyone is wondering how I am doing, is the time I find it the hardest to post. Those first few days after chemo each seem to bring a different set of challenges and it is all I can do to make it through the days. I will say I am doing better today. The nausea and fatigue are lingering and my throat is starting to get raw but things are getting better. The nausea has been the toughest this time around. I have been so sensitive to everything. It is hard to describe how I have felt, like I have been all consumed with how to make it hour by hour. I have been trying to avoid anything and everything that could make me nauseous, which literally is anything and everything. Sometimes I could think of a food I actually wanted and that would make the nausea go away for a few hours. But sometimes it is hard to get what you are craving (Steak fries when you are at work). I am proud of myself with my fluid intake, lots of smoothies. Of course, now that my throat is getting raw and I am moving towards my "low white blood count time" I need to avoid citrus fruits or fruits that aren't peeled. That kind of limits the kinds of smoothies I can drink. Hopefully I will be able to drink water again in the next few days (right now water makes me gag!) So I am doing alright, hoping that all the effort I have put into the last 5 days will make the next few days better. Yes I realize this post is disorganized but I just wanted to an update posted.

Friday was better!

Dr. visit: tumor has not really decreased in size but is "crumbling up". This is good and means the medicine is working. Dr. decided to give me another nausea medication by IV while I was getting chemo.

Chemo treatment: Everything went about the same but the new medicine made me tired and off balance.

Friday evening: NO HEADACHE and only mild nausea. I thought I might vomit a few times but I didn't. So much better than the last 2 treatments. I was very tired and kind of out of it all night, but I will take that over writhing in bed with a headache and nausea. I even had a small plate of Lo mien noodles last night. It seems that pasta is currently my craving!

Sat morning: I am a little tired and a little queasy but doing ok.

Here we go!

Blood work this morning, and the best I can tell all the counts are good enough for chemo tomorrow. I have ALL my meds laid out for tomorrow, along with my instruction sheet of what to take when.

I think I have been a little anxious today, just trying to search for an emotion that works for how I feel. Happy that my counts are up, sad because I will probably be really sick tomorrow (a kind of sick for several more days), optimistic that things might go better this time around, nervous about seeing if my tumor as shrunk anymore, relieved that I will get another round of medicine to fight my cancer and distracted and consumed with all the plans and options I have to make things smoother this time around......to name just a few of the emotions!

Random thought for the night. When they said my hair would fall out I figured it would all just be gone but I keep shaving it and patches keep growing back. It is work to keep it shaved and then I wonder if I am just a girl with a shaved head. Maybe I should quit shaving it and see if it grows back. Jen quickly reminds me of the bald patches were the hair isn't growing back. I guess I just keep shaving it for awhile!

Chemo Countdown

Wow, time has flown by this cycle. Only 3 days till blood work and 4 days to probably/possibly chemo. I am trying not to assume I will have chemo on Friday, even though I had the "booster" shot this time. I am turning over a new leaf of just taking things as they come........ya right!

I am trying to get prepared for everything I expect to happen this time around. The nausea, headache, foggy head, fatigue. I have some ginger pills I will try this time. I am taking off on Monday so that I can rest and recuperate. I need to figure out how to eat and drink more consistently the first 3-4 days. I am preparing for a bad week, planning for a better week and hoping for the best!

The blood work I had that nearly killed me a few weeks ago, it all came back normal. No further follow up. So I have "hypoglycemia" for unknown reasons, with no answers as to what to do about it. That drives me crazy!

OB GYN

First of all, let me just say, I love Dr Burke! We spent as much time chatting and catching up from last year (the dr. who did my hysterectomy) as we did talking about my ovaries. He has the perfect combination of straight shooting and kindness to paint a REAL picture of what is going on. His agrees with everyone else's recommendation to get my ovaries removed. With the positive genetic testing it really increases my chances for ovarian cancer and the treatment and survival rate for ovarian cancer aren't good. He can do a same day laperscopic (sp?) surgery with about a week recovery time. It gets a little more complicated because this will probably piggy back with my mastectomy or maybe even be done on the same day. But I think this surgery is the least of my worries. Now this will put me into surgical menopause which might be hell. But he also says the chemo is probably zapping my ovaries anyways and it might not be that drastic of a change. I might already be going through a more gradual menopause right now. Over all I felt really good about the appointment. I meet next month with the surgeon who will do my mastectomy and he will at that time refer me to a plastic surgeon.

2 great days!

Just what the Dr. ordered! Two awesome days spent with friends and family. The weather was perfect and we spent the majority of the weekend outside. Lots and lots of vitamin D! We took a day trip to Eureka Springs on Saturday with our friends (Brian, Dewayne, Gus and Tavo). I rocked the bald all day. Now you never know what you might see in Eureka, and I blended right in. I felt like a girl with a shaved head instead of a girl with cancer. It was nice, just what I needed. Sunday was a picnic at the park. Grandma Nancy and our friend Max come along. We had yummy food and lots of fun with the boys.

Tomorrow I see the OBGYN regarding my ovaries. I have lots of questions, which I should probably get written down. I will update ya'll on how it goes.

Thanks for all the support you give me each and everyday, especially my coworkers. You guys really kept me going last week. I think this week will be better!

The Week in Review

The word if the week - TIRED

Monday: Got the "WBC booster" shot. Nauseous, queasy, no appetite, tired, very foggy in the head. Could barely get my workout in. Craved fried pickles (thanks again Jen!) , went to bed at 6:30pm.

Tuesday: Sore all over (assuming from the shot), nauseous, queasy, no appetite, very foggy in the head until around 3:00pm, struggled through workout, felt very weak, shortness of breath going up stairs.

Wednesday: Queasy, getting appetite back, still a little sore, starting to get "film" in mouth, still feeling weak during workout, shortness of breath going up stairs.

Thursday: sore throat, film in mouth, feeling lightheaded, a hunger sensation that I can't seem to satisfy, felt good working out but then hit a "wall" 1/2 way through and was tired the rest of the day.

Friday: lightheaded, film in mouth, sensation of a lump in my throat.

The story of the week: Today I went to see my PCP regarding my hypoglycemia. Jaxon went with me. The Dr. ordered blood work and sent me to the lab. 1st stick, no vein. Decided to try my hand, 2nd stick, ears ringing, about to throw up, felt like I was going to pass out. The guy told me to stick my head between my legs as he was still trying to get the blood out. All I could think of was who was going to watch Jaxon when I was passed out. He finally stopped (my blood was coming out super slow). I told him I needed to lay down. He directed me to a room with a table. Has I stepped into the room, everything went black. I grabbed for the table and sort of remember throwing myself unto the table. Don't think I passed out but feel like a lost a few seconds of time. Finally reached down for Jaxon hoping he was in the room with me. After some cold packs and orange juice finally started feeling better. The dude ask if he could poke me again. I am not sure why I said yes, except for the fact that I didn't want to be a quitter. 3rd poke, blood still super slow. Finally guzzled a bottle of water and he gave up and sent in 2 ladies who were successful. I left with 4 pokes, tape all over my arm, and I poor little boy holding my other hand. Jaxon was such a big boy during all of this, he actually didn't seem to grasp what was going on. It was a really scary event for me, knowing that I put him in that situation.

Not sure what tomorrow will bring. I am in need of a good day. This week has been really hard. I am actually realizing that I have cancer, I mean that I feel like I am sick and that my life is slowing changing into the life of a sick person. It has been a struggle to make it through everyday and I cannot imagine dealing with this for another year and a half. Just need a good day!

Let's see if this will work

Here is a link to the Hat Party Album

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just highlight, copy and then paste into "http.www" line at the top of your page.

Sorry to leave ya hangin'

Sorry I didn't post on Thurs. My blood counts were back up. They were at 3.0, only needed to be at 1.2. YAAAAAAA bone marrow, way to do your job! Unfortunately, my glucose level was down to 47, last week it was 58. The normal range is 70-100ish. So now I get to go see my primary doctor about these episodes of hypoglycemia.

Saw the oncologist Fri. before chemo. I will start taking a shot to help my counts stay up. I will take 3 of them, one this Mon. and then one after my next 2 cycles of A-C. This shot stimulates the bone marrow to do its job. Its main side effect - bone pain. YAAAAAA!

My Dr. also said that my tumor has gotten a little smaller. Now this is measured manually, no fancy tests, but I will take her word for it. As long as it is getting smaller then the chemo is doing its job. We also got into a humorous fight about how much weight I could lift when working out. If you see me over the summer and I look scrawny, you will know why!

I took the new expensive "magic" pill yesterday, but I still got sick. It was almost like clockwork to the last time. I will say it wasn't has bad, maybe 50% as bad as last time. But the time frame was just the same. No vomiting this time. I also think I stayed calmer this time, because I knew what was going on and I knew it would be over in about 5 hours. I, of course, think staying calm helped just as much as anything.

That is just about all I know, I hope to get some sun on my bald head this weekend. Yes I will be using sunblock. I think I am reading to start Rocking the Bald! I really don't mind my bald head, Jaxon tries to show it off to all of his friends. so what the heck. OWN IT I SAY!!!!!