Oops forgot, I saw my surgeon

Lets see, this week as been mostly uneventful in regards to "cancer stuff". I started off with the raw sore throat and then transitioned into my gums and the roof of my mouth being sore and swollen. Well the mouth soreness was a bit bothersome but I forced myself to use some medicine to numb my mouth so that I could eat comfortably. It is mostly gone now.

I did see Dr. Shultz last Friday (I think I have kind of been blocking this visit out of my head). He is my surgeon. He continues to recommend the double mastectomy, secondary to my positive genetic testing. He was throwing around numbers like 70-80% chance of having breast cancer again without this type of surgery. I think that is a little high based on the research that I have done but I know the chances are really high. I know that probably in 20 years, after more research there will be a better treatment option but I also know that right now this is the best they have to offer me. I really don't think I want to go through all of this again The sad thing is just because they cut off boobs and take out my ovaries, I still have a increased chance of colon cancer and melanoma secondary to the genetic testing. But one thing at a time, right?!!?!?! So now it is time to decide on reconstruction, implants or nothing (prosthetics). I see the plastic surgeon at the end of July.

A quick thanks to all who continue to send me good mojo and to those who help us out from time to time and of course my coworkers who "protect and care for me" when I feel like hell at work.

Who has cancer?!?!!?

Well finally started feeling normal on Friday. Still a little dizzy, throat hurts and still having an aversion to drinking liquids but mostly back to normal. We had a great weekend with Jaxon. All the medicine in the world can't make me feel as good as being with my family, out in the sunshine, watching my boy having fun! He loved being sprayed with the power washer (safe distance of course), Jen found him a turtle he carried around for an a hour, and as you can see we bought a Slip and Slide! Good times had by all! Probably did a FEW things I wasn't supposed to this weekend (spraying my skin off with the power washer, being around the bacteria, mold, etc. as I worked on the pool and power washed) but I think it was probably worth it. I will probably be a little sore tomorrow, I can handle that. A few pics of the Slip and Slide.

Chemotherapy, Cravings and Relay for Life

I have completed leg one of this race! I have 4 weeks until I start the next medication regimen. I didn't get BAD sick on Friday, Jen and I actually went out to the the Relay for Life on Friday evening. I was hoping for a little inspiration and some good vibes and did not leave disappointed. I have been relatively active this weekend. Probably doing too much, but I haven't felt horrible. I was able to get my WBC shot on Sat., instead of having to wait until Monday. I really didn't get sore from it this time. My cravings this time haven't been so specific, so that has allowed us to eat a little more normal. No fried pickle cravings, so far! Craving creamy, cheesy things like pasta and pizza! I am very jittery today, I don't think I slept very well last night. I feel very wired, the way I did after my very first chemo treatment. The nausea is present but I don't seem super sensitive to EVERYTHING this time around. Probably I good thing I didn't go to work today. I feel like pulling my hair out (if I had any) and running around in circles. Not the best professional behavior! I am posting a few pics. Jax and I taking a nap after chemo on Friday and then some from the Relay for Life

Getting Away

We just got back from our little family vacation to St. Louis. I was really looking forward to getting "away from it all", but I really didn't get away from anything. Usually for me when I have stress going on in my life, it is usually caused by other people's issues and getting away can really help. This time it is me that is the stressor and well, I took myself, my bald head, my cancer with me. So I really didn't get away from anything, but we did have a great time. It reminded me that I can't really run away from this one but it also reminded me that I can do this my way!

We went to a lot of neat places and had good food along the way. I think by far our favorite place was the City Museum. I think because while we were their we witnessed Jaxon overcome many fears and have a crazy good time. I also ran up and made it to the top of a 12 foot near vertical wall (looked kind of like a skateboard ramp). I saw teenage boys unable to do this so I have to say that it made this 38 y/o cancer pt. feel really good!!!

Jen made a point to take some pics of Jaxon and I, so I thought I would post a few pics from our trip.

Only 3 days to my last treatment of AC. I must say I am ready to get it over with. I do not look forward to all the side effects but this will be the last time to deal with this. I will have 4 weeks off before I start the first cycle of my next medications and a whole new list of side effects! I keep trying to remind myself that there is light at the end of this nasty, yucky tunnel!!!!

To tell or not to tell?

One of my frequent dilemmas is when I run into someone I know and I wonder if I should blurt out "I have cancer!" It is really not in my nature to complain. And in my head, blurting out that I have cancer falls into the complaining category. So I just chat with whomever it is that I have ran into, waiting and kind of hoping they will say "hey you don't have any hair, what's up?" : ) Knowing that maybe they are thinking "Um, something seems wrong here, does Dana not have any hair. I wonder what is wrong. I hate to be nosey and ask" Then we finish our conversation. Then Jen always says "did they ask?" I say no and then we basically have the above conversation, and I regret not telling them. In my mind I would much rather someone know what is going on then to have them wonder. It makes me stressed for them. This is a little narcissistic, assuming that they spend a great amount of their time pondering my baldness. This again happened today. I ran into one of my old coworkers whom was pregnant. I ask her if she was pregnant and she said "no its a tumor" That could have been a great opening to my cancer but I didn't take it. Oh well.

I was a little disappointed that I still had a little bit of dizziness Fri. into Sat. I had hoped that working so hard earlier in the week would have helped with this but maybe it has nothing to do with what I am eating or drinking. I do think overall I felt better from Thurs. on. My throat is only slightly raw and I have just been a little tired. So hopefully I can keep the mouth sores subdued next week and I will be on my way to my one relatively normal week before we do it all over again. My next chemo should be May 14th.

Only one more time with this chemo medicine. It is a good thing, because anyone in their right mind would not put themselves through that kind of hell too many times. I am already having to prep myself for one more round. Anytime, I think about chemo, the cancer building, try to read a book about cancer, etc., I get a little bit queasy.

I have been wanting to post some new pics but tonight I realized that I really don't have any pics of myself. I will work on this!