Foobs!

Does anyone know what foobs are? It is breast cancer lingo for fake boobs, not implants but prosthetics. Isn't that funny! I have began my journey into researching and exploring what to do after the mastectomy. This is just one of the many new terms I have learned! Oh and they aren't really called prosthetics (which I prefer), they are called breast forms.

I am 100% sure I will have my ovaries removed, 99.938473% sure I will have a double mastectomy, 80% sure I do not want any type of reconstructive surgery (taking skin and muscle from my stomach or back to make breast), and I am about 50/50 trying to decide between having no surgery (using breast forms) or implants.

I have finally found some good forums out there discussing the subject and have stumbled upon some other good resources. Lots to think about and I am sure I will post more as my journey moves forward.

I can't believe I have chemo again in 2 days, if my counts are good. That will be 3 down (probably jinxing myself) and then already time for a week off! I have to say I have been tolerating this so much better. I was telling someone that this time the side effects are more like inconveniences. I did get a nice rash on my face and chest this week, but it seems to be getting better. Having chemo 3 weeks in a row really makes it seem like it is zooming by.

I wanted to post a picture of the medicines I will have to take in a time frame of less than 12 hours. I will take them tomorrow night. The little white ones are the dexamethosone I have to take the night before chemo and the neon orange ones are the 5 chemo pills I have to take EVERY night.

Catching up

Yes I blog, but I am not very good at it. Once again I have fallen off on my blogging updates. I was going to blog Thurs. night but I was sad and trying to avoid the inevitable clock ticking down the minutes until I had to start taking my pre meds. I was up at 4:30 am and couldn't go back to sleep after taking my 10 dexamethasone.

My Drs. appt. went well. My tumor is getting softer and is now immeasurable. When I mentioned to the Dr that I was planning on going to Poplar Bluff this weekend for my Grandma's 80th Birthday party, I was told, no hugging or kissing my relatives and stay away from the mosquitoes. I guess Jen will be getting out the Haz Mat suit for the weekend.

I did have a reaction to the IV Benadryl (sleepy, spinning head and restless legs) but I didn't have a reaction to the Taxol (chemo med). It was probably worst chemo session I have had but I was so out of it I really don't remember much. I started the Lapatinib on Friday night (oral chemo). I am so happy to report that I am really feeling decent. A few minor things but nothing at all like the last medications. I am so relieved that this has started out so well. I know things could get a little worse as I continue through my cycles but I have a renewed sense of hope that I will make it through these medicines too.

Countdown to chemo - 2 days to go

Well it is time to get my blood work done. Tomorrow morning I will get my blood drawn and meet with the lady who will "hook me up" with my oral chemo medication (Lapatinib). Since this is part of my clinical trial I actually get it free. WOOHOO, you shouldn't have, just what I always wanted. Have a mentioned that I have to take 5 of them a day!?! I have enjoyed my freedom but now it is time to get back to being out of control. Out of control of how I react to the medication, out of control of how feel, out of control of my schedule, out of control of all the medication I have to take to counteract the medicine I have to take to live, out of control of being in control. If you know me you know this is the hardest part for me.

Countdown to chemo - 3 days to go

Was able to get my ECHO done today. Should get the results in a few days. The tech said my pictures looked good, assuming that is a good thing ! I just kept thinking maybe my heart is very photogenic : ) I am not sure how I am ever going to let my hair grow back. Every time is starts looking "fuzzy" I begin to feel very unkept and I have to shave it off again. I keep wondering if it would actually grow out. They say no, but sometimes I wonder. My plan will be to let it grow back when I have my surgeries. I figure I will feel like crap and probably not care about my hair. Hopefully I will get past "fuzzy" before I start caring about how I look. And really after I have just got my boobs cut off, what kind of a priority will unkept fuzzy hair be?!?!?

Countdown to chemo - Phase 2

Well my hiatus is over, 4 days till I start phase 2. It was good while it lasted : ) I am trying to gear up for whatever is ahead of me for the next 4 months. Once again hoping for the best, preparing for the worst. I have twelve rounds of infused chemo (3 weeks in a row with one week off) and daily oral chemo (5 PILLS a day). All sounds so very exciting! I got a call today that it is time for my echo (make sure the chemo isn't destroying my heart) and I have to get it done before chemo on Friday. Gives me a lot of time to get that arranged. OK destroy is a bit of an exaggeration, checking for any heart damage is more appropriate. And they do the echos literally 500 ft from where I work so it shouldn't be that hard to get arranged. I think I am just a little bitter about having to be done with my hiatus. I am going to try to write everyday this week. If I could only figure out how to blog on my fancy phone!